Thoughts: Anger

If one were to use a detail I told them in confidence, because I trusted them, and to use it against me…

Pure momentarily maxed out anger, would have been triggered.

That has been fine tuned, after many years of mellowing and attempts to keep it in control. While being mostly nonchalant or relaxed on life issues.

But as soon as I start calming myself down, the decision i’d make, would just be – not place that much or any trust in that person ever again.

But… yesterday, someone closest to me, in terms of DNA related, did just that.

*****

Over…

A recycling bag and its collection date, which I couldn’t find, even with Dad’s help… Because it was hidden under her piling trash.

My fault for not finding, fine.

Using what I shared with her, to attack me, that’s hitting waaayyy below the belt.

That anger I felt, mixed with misplaced trust and disappointment, removed any existing respect I have for that person.

*****

But I got to thank her.

Without her fucked up attitude, I wouldn’t have handled others this well. And I learnt from young, never to be like her, treating others with more respect and apologize when wrong or to make things better.

I don’t feel hate, just sheer disappointment, zero trust and respect for her.

I learnt a good life lesson, through her.
So, thanks anyway.