我问为什么
那个人传简讯给我

而你为什么
不解释低着头沉默

我该相信你很爱我
不愿意敷衍我
还是明白 你已不想挽回什 么

想问为什么
我不再是你的快乐

可是为什么
却苦笑说我都懂了

自尊常常将人拖着
把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕
真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最紧的右手
最暖的胸口 谁记得

谁忘了

最暖的胸口 谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛

我记得你在背后
也记得我颤抖着
记得感觉汹涌 最美的烟火
最长的相拥
谁爱得太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺

谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔

我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空 最紧的右手
最暖的胸口

我放手

我让座

假洒脱

谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了

所以我

没有哭

没有说

*****

Sung the original version of this song, by Sun Yanzi and tears came rushing out…

The suppressed feelings finally released and from that day on, i felt more human than i had been for the past months.

But… 我还有想要爱你的冲动…
有多傻，还是螃蟹的云云猫。

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I’m not that girl.

Don’t dream too far
Don’t lose sight of who you are
Don’t remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I’m not that girl

Ev’ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who’s winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with gentle curl
That’s the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I’m not that girl…

Don’t wish, don’t start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn’t born for the rose and pearl
There’s a girl I know
He loves her so
I’m not that girl…

*****

Don’t we all felt this way, when we thought we ain’t good enough?
Reality is that harsh to the tender hearts and appearance lacking.

And perhaps it’s just a fantasy to what we can’t obtain.

A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can’t you feel it growing stronger
Little conquerors

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Now
For the very first time
Don’t you pay no mind
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a riot
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first to cry another state of mind
I’m on my knees, I’m praying for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I’m on my knees
I never wanna die
Dancing on my grave
Running through the fire
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
Never wanna leave
Never say goodbye
Forever
And ever
and ever
and ever

Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?

I’m learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
I’m learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough

*****

A 3 months break and waiting, I’ve waited long enough and gotten an answer.
I’m learning to walk again, away from your shadows and one day, be ready for someone new.

Dreams
Thats where I have to go
To see your beautiful
Face anymore I stare at a picture of you
And listen to the radio

Hope, hope there’s a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then its alienation I know that much is understood,
And I realise..

If you ask me how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine

I would lie and say that your not on my mind
But I go out, and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
No matter what I say I’m..
Not over you,
Not over you

Damn, damn girl you do it well, and I thought you were innocent
Took this heart and put it through hell, but still your magnificent
I, I’m a boomerang, doesn’t matter how you throw me
I turn around and I’m back in the game, even better than the old me

But I’m not even close without you

If you ask me how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that your not on my mind
But I go out, and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
No matter what I say I’m..
Not over you

And if I had the chance to re-new
You know there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do
I could get back, on the right track
But only if you’d be convinced
So until then..

If you ask me how I’m doing
I would say I’m doing just fine
I would lie and say that your not on my mind
But I go out, and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I’m forced to face the truth
No matter what I say I’m..
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you

*****

Songs are often a good replacements to paragraphed emotions, as are photos to a thousand words.

*****

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.” – I Peter 5:6-11

All i due time, i pray…